and so it begins

…and, what do you know, it’s out of my system! Cut to this morning at 1:30: I’ve just scratched during a particularly brutal game of pool and our waitress comes over to tell me that my friend just threw up on the bathroom door. What? Last time I saw her, about twenty minutes ago, she was dancing with Some Guy to Some Band and having a grand old time. So I get to her, and her seven or so Magic Hats are now on her coat, her hair, and, yes, the bathroom door. I feel awful for her and I’m really surprised; this is totally unlike her. Now she’s locked in a stall with her head in her hands and the bouncers are telling me I’ve got to get her out of the bar. Come on guys, don’t you know the real fun starts after the projectile vomiting? I talk to her through the door for awhile before she agrees to open it and then we leave. Some Guy starts running after us because he wants to come too. I don’t think so, Some Guy. Then he pulls out a napkin on which she apparently wrote her number for him, but he says he can’t read it and wants her to give it to him again so he can write it down legibly. I get us a cab and turn around to put her in it, and somebody else tries to take it. I tell this person that that’s our cab. She’s kind of annoyed and Some Guy cuts in to ask her for a pen. Cabless Woman is bewildered but gives him one. As we’re getting in, he’s saying, “She has my number, please just call me when you get home and tell me she’s okay.” In the cab, I ask her if she really wants me to call him when we get home. She kind of does. Then she realizes her cell phone is gone. Tears ensue. We get home and I call Some Guy to tell him she’s fine. He says, “Can you call me in ten minutes at [a different number]?” What, and then enter my credit card number? I hang up with him and call the bar to see if they found her phone. No phone. Then mine rings.

Me: Hello?

Some Guy: Heyyyy.

Me: Hi.

Some Guy: How are you?

Me: I’m fine. [Friend] can’t really talk right now, she’s sleeping.

Some Guy: Oh, that’s okay. How are you?

Me: Tired. I just wanted to tell you we’re home and she’s okay.

Some Guy: That’s so nice of you.

Me: Well, you asked me to a bunch of times.

Some Guy: Right. You know, I got shut off right after you guys left.

Me: You what?

Some Guy: At the bar. They cut me off.

Me: No kidding. Okay, well, goodnight.

Some Guy: What are you guys doing tomorrow night?

Me: Um, not sure.

Some Guy: We should all get together sometime.

Me: Definitely. Night!

Cut to this afternoon at 2:30: she’s still sleeping. I’ve called the bar again and the cab company but the phone seems to have disappeared. She did wake up long enough to say, “Maybe Some Guy asked for my number and I gave him my phone?” Then she got mad when I laughed. But come on, that’d be pretty funny. Okay, better go make sure she’s still breathing. Happy 2005, all! Next year I’ll be home sitting on my couch. Feel free to join me.

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