has Canada lost its freakin’ mind?

I heard a radio ad for Canada encouraging us to go there. I always wonder who benefits from these commercials… it’s like those TV ads for plastic or cotton. “I have an idea, let’s drop millions of dollars to advertise something totally non-specific like ‘the fabric of our lives.’ We’re sure to show…well, absolutely no direct gains from this, but everyone should know how GREAT these materials are.”

This particular Canada tourism ad was normal until about halfway through (“it’s so close,” “we have so much to do here”) and then lost its mind and started talking about how you could come to Canada and bounce on moonbeams and such. I wish I remembered direct quotes, but it was enough to make me look down at my radio in disbelief, which is never a good sign… your brain has temporarily lost that connection that the radio voice you’re hearing is actually not a person inside of your stereo, but for the moment you can only look down at it as though it’s a human being that you must hold accountable for the lunacy you’re hearing. (I’ve reacted to Jay Severin much the same way; who, by the way, has been off the air for awhile. Tell me he’s not going national?)

So what’s going on with Canada? I feel like it’s the weird brother who lives in the attic (my map skills are very literal; Canada is “up”) and keeps to himself but then every now and then you hear hysterical rambling and you go, “Crap, maybe I should go check on Canada.” Then you climb halfway up the stairs and tentatively ask, “So, um, how’s it going, buddy?” before getting hit in the face with a hockey puck. (I love cultural cliches… reminds me of being at Epcot.)

Never mind the fact that the last time I was in Canada, there was no one at the border telling me to stop and so I just drove across, and the strategy of the police to try and get me back was to run out of their little welcome-to-Canada hut and start frantically waving their arms. Now that’s what I call border security.

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