365 days of misery

I just saw the He’s Just Not That Into You day-by-day calendar. I’m trying to imagine this.

January 1st: Happy New Year! He doesn’t like you.
February 11th: He really doesn’t like you after finding you asleep on his doorstep.
March 17th: It’s St. Patrick’s Day, but lucky you, you’ve been inebriated for most of 2006. Has it helped him realize what he’s missing?
April 1st: You know what? He changed his mind and he likes you. No, wait, April Fools.
May 29th: What are you doing for Memorial Day weekend? Really? That sounds like fun. He’s probably having sex with someone else right this second.
June 18th: Happy Father’s Day. You’re never going to have his babies, by the way. But some other chick is, and she’s probably way cuter than you and has a better job.
July 21st: How’s your summer going? By the way, he saw you on the street and ran in the opposite direction.
August 12th: You’re so smart and brave to go with this tough love approach. Why are you crying?
September 6th: Seriously, why are you still crying?
October 31st: Oh neat, you came dressed as a psycho. Oh, my mistake. Well, happy Halloween anyway!
November 23rd: Are you thankful that the pain hasn’t killed you? Yet?
December 2th: He’s forgotten your name. Good egg nog, though.

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