lather, rinse, repeat

I’m somewhat offended by a sign that’s been put up at work. No, traumatized.

It’s in the women’s bathroom and it says, “Did You Wash Your Hands?” I never realized that a sign could be patronizing. At first I thought it must be left over after putting them up in the kids’ bathrooms, and someone put it up in ours to be funny. But then I read it and realized that it’s really not meant for kids. If it was for kids it would say something like, “The last person who didn’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom got cooties and extra homework for a week and their GameCube exploded and they had to eat lunch with the smelly kid for the rest of the year.” No, the language on this one was for adults… it actually had instructions on how and why to do it.

I wanted to write underneath it, “Not only do I KNOW ENOUGH TO WASH MY HANDS, but I also happen to be the one who supplies the GOOD SOAP out of the GOODNESS OF MY HEART because I don’t want to use the blue crap that smells like Windex that comes out of the dispenser on the wall.”

I thought restaurant bathrooms with “Employees Must Wash Hands” signs were bad enough; apparently my place of work is already going on the assumption that we’re not doing it and need to be chastised ahead of time.

I mean, what’s next? “Did You Pull Up Your Pants?” It’s a slippery slope.

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