where you’re coming from – January

It’s the end of the month, which means it’s time for the first ever monthly review of my favorite wacky things people inputed into search engines to reach me. It’s short because I just figured out how to do this a few days ago, thanks to Darren.

“schmoo conference”
When is it? Where is it? Who’s the keynote speaker? Just so long as it’s not at the Radisson again, because those clowns don’t validate parking.

“learning to love yourself”
I thought this was maybe because I teach my readers how to love the pants off themselves. But no… it was just a lyric from the Whitney Houston song that I used to win the sneak attack song lyric contest at work. Sigh. The funny thing is that when you do a search for this, the tent is sandwiched between sites that are actually there for the purpose of talking you down from the ledge, whereas I’m just babbling about how the children are our future and not at all concerning myself with your well-being. I apologize.

“November Rain video how did bride die?”
I KNOW! I wondered this when I was like 14 and never figured it out, so I’m sure I was of no help to this person. I DO know that Stephanie Seymour bitchslapped that woman right off her bar stool without knocking Axl over, even though he was sitting between them. That’s a badass supermodel move.

“No no no, you fix that wall before my dad gets home for work! He’s gonna beat me with a belt!”
I hope this was a search for a Dane quote and not a cry for help.

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