know your audience

The phone rings, and my caller ID says Big Brother. I thought he just watched; didn’t realize he also called.

Me: Hello?
Her: Hi, I’m So-and-so calling from Big Brothers Big Sisters…


Her: …and we’re calling to ask you…

No, seriously, the only time that I’m not with or thinking about kids is when I’m sleeping. I’m sorry, but I’d sooner volunteer to do your books.

Her: …if you have any clothing that you could donate.
Me: Oh yeah, I do, actually. Do you need adult clothing?
Her: Anything you have. We’re doing pick-ups on Monday.
Me: Okay, great.

She verifies my address, and then, although I know I’ll regret this:

Me: It’s funny, you come up on caller ID as Big Brother.
Her: Excuse me?
Me: No, you just… my caller ID said Big Brother and I thought it was kind of funny.
Her: [silence]
Me: Like, Big Brother is watching?
Her: [silence]
Me: Right, so, Monday?


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