survey says

Did I say I was taking a hiatus from you guys? Like that would ever work in a world where I still have internet access (i.e. the Cape). A girl can only spend so much time in the sun (especially when that girl has minimal skin pigmentation to begin with), and we all know I’m a sucker for a survey. As of this weekend I really WILL be gone, in a land without the internet or even television (gasp). But, in the meantime, back to the topic at hand. Thanks to Stefanie for some of these gems.

Do you own an iPod?
iCouldn’t live without it. iEspecially couldn’t live without it in my car.

What was the last movie you watched?
The Break-Up. It was mostly swell, but I was distracted by the casting of Joey Lauren Adams as a level-headed soccer mom. That’s a long way from Fingercuffs.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
I had to think about this, which is funny because when I’m at home I’m on the phone all the freakin’ time. Even when I don’t really want to be; not sure how that works. Anyway, it was Dorie. We discussed how the agenda for tomorrow evening is wine, fireworks, and then Grumpy’s in Falmouth, but that on the Cape you never know if it’s going to be a fun place or full of old, drunk fishermen. Either option is pretty great, though.

Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
I hope there’s a great deal of wide-eyed speculation about what that impish Red is going to do next, but I suspect they’re busy enough with their own lives to give much thought to mine.

Did you watch cartoons as a child?
Of course! Now I can’t think of any of them. The Snorks? Why the hell did that emerge as the representative cartoon of my childhood? It really doesn’t deserve such high billing. I loved She-Ra, and was mystified when my next door neighbors had a girl and named her Shira. I couldn’t process that it could be a name separate from the show. Now I can’t remember if She-Ra had her own show or if she just rode on He-Man’s testosterone-laden coattails. I also loved this weird show that was all about Tom Sawyer’s adventures; it was half live action and half cartoon. I googled the crap out of it and finally found this, which means I wasn’t hallucinating because for years, everyone that I mentioned it to had never heard of it.

Who were your childhood heroes?
Yeah, I’d love to tell you Eleanor Roosevelt or something edumacated like that, but it was really Princess Leia and Olivia Newton-John.

Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?
Is he beefy?

Do you use sarcasm?
Moreso when I write than in real life. In person, I am a gentle, softspoken creature who communes with spirits and animals and speaks lovingly of all.

How old will you be on your next birthday?
I’ll be 29 in October. According to the greeting card industry, it’s the age that everyone in their 40s likes to pretend they are, so I figure there must be something to it.

Are you picky about spelling and grammar?
Obscenely so, and yet not: I misuse semi-colons, I’m sure, and abuse the run-on sentence phenomenon.

Do you think your a good person?
I did, until I wanted to mock you for using “your.”

Have you ever been to Six Flags?
I think so, but I prefer the ghetto fabulous Canobie Lake. Amusement parks are the best, but only at night.

One of your scars: how did you get it?
I have a chicken pock scar behind my right ear.

If you could pay anyone in the world to be your friend, who would it be?
Like I’d ever pay anyone to be my friend. As if I could ever stoop THAT LOW. Fine, Kate Winslet.

Have you ever met a famous person?
Only minimally famous. I met Drew Carey and Ryan Reynolds at a bar in Florida on spring break and I met Thurman Thomas, who used to play for the Buffalo Bills, waiting in line for ice cream. Now, he was beefy.

What’s the scariest story you’ve ever heard?
So I’m watching an episode of the “new” Twilight Zone and it features Jessica Simpson before she got famous. She’s babysitting this little girl who has display cases full of creepy dolls. Of course weird things start happening with the dolls… they find one of them downstairs, even though they never took her out of the display case, and then later all the dolls try to jump on Jessica, stuff like that. Well THEN the little girl attacks Jessica and it turns out that the girl is some demon child who turns all of her babysitters into dolls, and the other dolls were past babysitters that were just trying to protect the former Mrs. Nick Lachey from harm. Brilliant. Why didn’t I write it?

What five things would you take with you to a desert island?
Okay, I’m really bad at the desert island question and here’s why: I’d like to bring an airplane, a pilot, a co-pilot, enough fuel to get us home, and a second airplane in case something happens to the first one. “No, it has to be five fun things!” Okay, because fun is priority one. How about a water purifier kit? “No, you have to pick CDs and stuff!” I’m puzzled by the implication that I’m stranded on an island and yet my first impulse is going to be to rock out. “You’re no fun.” Maybe not, but I’ll be showered, pedicured and out having cocktails by 10 tonight, and you’ll be choosing between water logged copies of Revolver and Abbey Road.

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