But Seriously, What The Hell Was Up With the Plane?

Woman: Dorie McDorington’s office.
Me: Hi, it’s Red, is Dorie available?
Woman: Just a second.
Dorie: Hi.
Me: I love that you have someone whose job is to answer your damn phone.
Dorie: Did you get my message?
Me: Yeah, what’s up?
Dorie: Can I come over tonight on my way home?
Me: Yeah, sure. You actually have free time?
Dorie: Kind of. I got in from LA yesterday.
Me: Oh yeah, didn’t you leave obscenely early?
Dorie: Yeah, I got picked up at quarter of five. Then I had meetings all day and then I was supposed to get the red eye at 10 so that I could get home in time to have breakfast with the kids. But then the flight was delayed because there was a lot of blood on the plane.
Me: Uh, what?
Dorie: Yeah, they came on and said that they had to clean it up. And then they came back on and said that there was too much blood to clean up and they had to call a carpet cleaning company.
Me: They said all this on the loudspeaker?
Dorie: Then they came back on again and said that there was so much blood that the carpet cleaning company said they’d have to replace the carpet and that we just needed to get a new plane. And I thought that seemed like a good idea.
Me: Um, YEAH. So when did you even get home?
Dorie: Around nine. I just missed the kids.
Me: Did you just crash?
Dorie: No, I slept for an hour and a half and then went for a run.
Me: You’re like the opposite of me. I’d have given my kids up for adoption and slept for twenty hours.
Dorie: That was Plan B, trust me.

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6 Responses to “But Seriously, What The Hell Was Up With the Plane?”


  1. 1 Libragirl January 26, 2007 at 5:27 am

    Blood on the Plane, maybe it was the sequal to Snakes on the plane

    No I must know, why was there blood on the plane.

  2. 2 stefanie January 26, 2007 at 9:35 am

    What I’m hoping is that, because this was over the loudspeaker, the words were a bit muffled and unclear, and so while it sounded like they said “blood,” they actually said something far less disturbing, like, I don’t know… mud? That’s what I’m hoping. Because otherwise? Ew.

  3. 3 -R- January 26, 2007 at 9:49 am

    I am sure the chirpy flight attendant was like, “Oh, it was just another triple homicide. Nothing to worry about, folks!”

  4. 4 3carnations January 26, 2007 at 10:08 am

    I think I’ll go with Stefanie’s theory that the word was not actually blood…”I’m sorry folks, but there was a bit of a flood on the plane…The pilot spilled a gallon of water. We’ll need to replace the carpets.”

    Yeah…that makes sense.

  5. 5 Red January 26, 2007 at 10:33 am

    Oh my God… FLOOD! That must have been it, right? I’m calling Dorie now.

  6. 6 Darren McLikeshimself January 26, 2007 at 1:15 pm

    Yeah, please straighten this out, Red. Dorie’s answer could make the difference between my flying and never stepping foot on a plane again.


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