I Want To Know What Love Is, But I’m Pretty Sure Not With You

My current soft rock obsession is songs that try to poetically say “I’m not interested in you.” Who writes songs for people they don’t like? Could we bring back this trend? Because it’s hilarious. They’re all like, “I don’t have the heart to love you” or “I’m not so sure where I stand.” Listen, the protocol for not wanting to date someone is typically the cell phone delete or the awkward “Yeah, I know, I’ve just been SO busy at work,” not a tribute song.

My cousin and I amused ourselves over the holiday coming up with an album that will pay tender homage to this dilemma, tentatively titled “I’m Thinking No.” The first single will be “I Don’t Want (To Put My Dick In You),” to the tune of “All I Need (Is Just A Little More Time)” by Jack Wagner. Check it out below and put the lyrics in for yourself. It’s very catchy.

This video is also totally worth it for the magic that starts to go down at 1:57. Also, wasn’t this guy on a fucking soap opera or something?

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5 Responses to “I Want To Know What Love Is, But I’m Pretty Sure Not With You”


  1. 1 Jess December 28, 2007 at 2:25 pm

    I was eating a soy crisp while I read this, and now I’m choking. In a good way.

  2. 2 Smay December 28, 2007 at 3:09 pm

    He was on General Hospital! He played Frisco, and I was totally in love with him.

  3. 3 Lara December 28, 2007 at 5:11 pm

    HA! How on earth did you remember that song???

  4. 4 Jennifer December 28, 2007 at 6:06 pm

    That’s Peter from Melrose Place! Ha! Who knew he sang that??!! And isn’t he dating Heather Locklear in real life?

  5. 5 Anna December 29, 2007 at 7:42 pm

    Was, and still is – he’s currently on The Bold and the Beautiful. Also, I hope that was just a delay in the video feed and he’s not THAT horrible of a lip-syncher (sp? And is that even a word?)


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