When She Was Born, Did She Come With Perfume Samples?

Being an edumacator means that crazy-ass names rarely surprise you anymore. After a handful of crappy actor names like Chandler and Calista or ones that end with “ee” (they won’t always be four years old, mom!) you kinda get desensitized and learn to just say, “Go sharpen your pencil, Butterscotch.”

But the other day was a first for me. I walked into one of the pre-school rooms, one of the few classes that I don’t work with in the building, and stopped right in the middle of my sentence when I saw the names of the kids on the wall. There was the usual assortment of Johns and Jennifers but there was also…


Did you ever see that Sex and the City episode where their friend got pregnant and stole Charlotte’s secret baby name? Which was Shayla, incidentally, and I’ve also had a student with that name who is about as old as the episode, but I digress. Anyway, that’s about how it felt. It’s not that I ever actually decided to name my unborn child after my favorite store, but WHAT IF I WANTED TO? What am I supposed to do now, name it after my second favorite store? Staples Varitek just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

It turns out Sephora is a perfectly legit Greek name. Whatever. Makeup makes me happy.


11 Responses to “When She Was Born, Did She Come With Perfume Samples?”

  1. 1 Dutchess of Kickball March 18, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    That is actually a pretty name. But never in a million years would I name my child after a tv show.

  2. 2 Allie March 19, 2008 at 8:13 am

    Sephora. Wow. That’s a name.

  3. 3 courtney March 19, 2008 at 9:07 am

    Maybe her parents got an endorsement deal from Sephora the store.

    Oh, and I haaaaaaate names that are so cutesy that you feel sorry for the kid in the future. Names that end in “ee” or even “i” are just begging for a future employer to say, “What is she, a stripper?”

  4. 4 Pants March 19, 2008 at 10:18 am

    Butterscotch? That sounds like a guarantee to have your kid on the pole!

    I met a kid a few years ago whose mother named her Alizé, after her favorite booze. Being a kid was hard enough without being named after whatever lowered mom’s defenses enough to get knocked up.

  5. 5 Allison March 19, 2008 at 11:48 am

    That’s actually a pretty cool name. And it would be perfect if you had a child named that. Maybe you can make that a middle name? Then the first name can be a more generic love of yours…like Product. Product Sephora.

  6. 6 Stefanie March 20, 2008 at 9:00 am

    Yeah, I was thinking maybe there was a corporate sponsorship with naming rights, but I see Courtney already went down that road.

    I knew a girl in college named Brandy Alexander. Really.

  7. 7 dont call me maam March 20, 2008 at 10:40 am

    One of my former students is named LuvStarr. For realz. It would be understandable had she been born in a hippie commune in the 60s, but she was born in the 80s. I would have named her Jem or She-Ra.

  8. 8 Noelle March 20, 2008 at 11:02 am

    Yesterday while I was driving through Hartford I saw an exit for Sigourney Street, and I thought about how that is an unusual but beautiful name, and it really belongs to only one person in the whole world, Ms. Weaver. I spent the rest of the trip looking to see if there were other street names that would make good baby names, but I came up with nothing. I guess I should have gone to the mall instead.

  9. 9 Jess March 20, 2008 at 1:41 pm

    That’s like naming your child Mercedes. Pretty and a totally legit name, but has such strong brand recognition that it’s a bit tough to pull it off.

  10. 10 Kate March 21, 2008 at 4:13 pm

    Promise you won’t steal my baby name: Target Starbucks McBarnes&Noble?

  11. 11 Red March 23, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    Dutchess, does that mean Felicity is out?

    Allie, right?!

    Courtney, haha, seriously. I’d name my kid Dove if they gave me free soap for life!

    Pants, ohmygodthatsthewhitetrashiestthingEVER.

    Allison, hee, or Body Butter!

    Stefanie, that’s brutal. What are some parents thinking?

    DCMM, el oh el. Seriously?

    Noelle, haha.

    Jess, totally.

    Kate, I can’t make any promises.

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