To Sum Up

The idea is to sum up each decade of your life in 100 words…

Backyards, hide and seek, swingsets, writing stories, My Little Ponies, Strawberry Shortcake, lemonade stands, charm bracelets, thermoses, tights, Olivia Newton-John, records, Princess Leia, Underoos, the tooth fairy, Cabbage Patch kids, Garbage Pail kids, baseball games with my dad, Halloween, Nintendo, the attic fan, true blue baby I love you, Sweet Valley, summer camp, popsicles, sprinklers, freeze tag, sleepovers, ghost stories, chocolate milk, babysitters, Care Bears, forts, choreographed dances to Paula Abdul songs, sweep the leg, Labyrinth, the genesis of my soft rock obsession, is this a kissing book?, when someone asks if you’re a god you say YES.

New Kids On The Block, perms, pegged jeans, bangs, mousse, school dances, roller skating, being mortified that my parents wouldn’t let me start dating at 11, Sassy magazine, five hour phone calls, The Breakfast Club, Birdhouse In Your Soul, curfews, sneaking out, my purple lava lamp, Marlboro Lights, Eddie Vedder, fake suburban grunge, Reality Bites, graduation, the sunburn to end all sunburns, first love, Royal Discount Books, mix tapes, college, concerts, cheap beer, late nights, spring break, basement parties, boy roommates, grape iMac, fro yo, the quote book, endless pictures, flannel pajamas, pet fish Chloe, chick rock, cozy dorm life.

Finished college, first apartment, first real job, started blogging, fell in love, got laid off, celebrated with a drunk summer, got a new job, quit to start a new career based on a hunch, went to grad school in Boston, got a new job, 10/27/04, dated a lot, decided it was a blast, continued dating, decided it sucked, went to many weddings and on beachy vacations, fell in love again, lost my mind a little, stopped drinking diet soda, later amended it to only drinking diet soda at restaurants, later amended it to only drinking diet soda at restaurants and whenever I feel like it.

Ahem, fourth decade doesn’t mean forty. I guess the main differences between then and now are that my sheets have a higher thread count, I drink wine instead of mmm what’s in this punch it’s yummy, I buy fresh flowers and like to cook, I have a retirement account beyond “uh, the beach house?”, and I’m learning not to give a shit about stuff that doesn’t matter, which is most of it. As far as work goes, I’ve been a speech pathologist for four years and on another hunch after careful deliberation have decided that I’m going to rock it out as an elementary school principal at some point, much to the horror of my younger self, as well my current self since that means going back for more school (GAH. No likey read books). But it’s a way to continue spending all day with those adorably gross little peanuts and actually make money empower future generations. Other than all that, I can mostly be found trying to work tacky rap lyrics into everyday conversations and mastering the art of gym avoidance. Anyway, I’m six months into this decade so I guess I can really only say stay tuned, party people. Oh, and: What happens to us in the future, do we become assholes or something?


8 Responses to “To Sum Up”

  1. 1 Allie March 31, 2008 at 6:50 pm

    That was beautiful! So much fun to read.

    The description on your first ten years could pretty much describe mine too.

  2. 2 Jess March 31, 2008 at 9:55 pm

    I was so surprised when there was a fourth decade! Thanks for the explanation. I was thinking I only have two but duh, of course I’m in my third. I get it now.

    Anyway, beautiful post!

  3. 3 madflourish April 1, 2008 at 8:02 am

    Fun! Aww we have practically the same first two decades. I love intragenerational semiotic markers.

  4. 4 Noelle April 1, 2008 at 8:49 am

    I never really thought of myself in the fourth decade until right now. I think I need to get myself some higher thread count sheets. I always say yes when someone asks me if I’m a god, but I’ve only realized why a couple of years ago.

  5. 5 -R- April 1, 2008 at 12:19 pm

    I think you would be a good principal. Although you would probably not want to give the parents a link to this site. Well, only the cool parents. And the hot single dads.

  6. 6 Kate April 2, 2008 at 9:22 am

    I love this. I have to say my favorite part is that like a fifth of your 20s was dedicated to thoughts on diet soda.

  7. 7 Maria April 2, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    That was great!

    Hey, I’m early in my 5th decade, and I haven’t turned into an asshole yet, but my son (early in his 3rd decade) says I’m “weird.” I like to think he means “intriguingly eccentric.” I’m thinking by 5th decade will be a lot more like your 4th, because MY 4th was spent in an absurdly innapropriate and exhausting marriage. Actually, it also filled up half of my 3rd! Ghah!

    Where’s my high thread count sheets????

  8. 8 Red April 6, 2008 at 9:13 am

    Allie and Jess, thanks!

    Melis, I thought we might.

    Noelle, ha, well, good that you answer in the affirmative, in any case.

    -R-, ha, and thanks! Yeah, I think I’ll continue to be anonymous. When I’m not, ahem, posting pictures of myself, that is.

    Kate, thanks! But, I mean, am I wrong? How much do I bend your ear about DP?! Also, watch yo’ mailbox…

    Maria, ha, love it. And they’re at Bed Bath and Beyond!!

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