Disjointed, Half-Formed Thoughts, i.e. I’m Back, Baby!

I haven’t been able to blog for, oh, the past month because every time I’d log onto WordPress, my computer would freeze up. Boo. Although I was sad that I couldn’t feed my insatiable habit of writing about nothing, my laziness and short attention span joined forces to ensure that I kinda forgot about it until today. Ahh, the unexamined life. I never tire of it.

Just a few hours after I pleaded for help on the message boards, a kindly woman in customer support (virtual fist bump coming your way, Hanni) suggested that I upgrade my current browser or use a different browser (which is apparently not a “different internet,” as I initially relayed her advice). And a few seconds after chastising myself for not thinking of that sooner, poof! Here I am!

Since we’ve last spoken, here’s a short list of the things that I’ve been excited about:

-Neutrogena Fresh Cooling Body Mist sunblock (in SPF 70, of course, enabling the undead to venture outside in the sunlight). It’s a mist! And it’s fresh! And cooling! All right, my point is that it’s not thick and gloppy and it WORKS, people. Go out and get yourself some, all right?

-Seasons one and two of Dexter, which I watched back to back despite the fact that they gave me sympathetic serial killer dreams. It is so, so good.

-Blue curacao margaritas, which I’ve finally mastered the recipe for. Ole, bitches!

-My patio, my sweet, wonderful, happy patio, which used to be a festering collection of dead furniture, but is now a blissful little oasis. Okay, it’s a blissful little oasis situated on a slab of concrete, but an oasis nonetheless! Its rebirth was like a freakin’ barn raising: A (very, very patient) friend built my new furniture, grill, and put up cute lights, and another spent hours planting flowers with me (geraniums and impatiens, thanks for asking. It’s the most domestic I’ve ever been). Green mosaic candle and margarita placemats and napkins from Crate and Barrel and I’m one happy, grilling, watering can-owning girl. Also, a little drunk. It’s summer! Yay!  I’ve been a little giddy over the start of summer this year.  It’s like a party on a slab of concrete, people.

Anyway, I can think of no better way to celebrate my doddering return to the internet than to debut the second installment of Crazy Shit That People Google And Then Land Here At The Tent.

“myers brigg and mr. big”

I’ve often wondered if Mr. Big is an INFP, or perhaps an ESTJ. Whatever he is, I curse the day he was born! Speaking of, what did we think of the movie? I enjoyed it. And the entire thing can be summed up in four words, and they have nothing to do with friendship or love: Charlotte pooped her pants.

“ferret rights”

Under my dictatorship, there are none. None!

“cupcake shampoo”

Hmmm… would that really be a good thing to have? I’m sure Philosophy makes it, if you can’t be dissuaded.

“putting words on cupcakes”

Frosting pen. Come on, Betty Crocker.

“words that rhyme with tent”

Sent, bent, went, dent, comment, urgent, parent, Lent, dissident, Heat of the Moment…

“other names for silly putty”

Why, is there a need? Is silly putty played out?

“people who google shit”

If it’s a crime, then I plead guilty as charged. One of my students did a google image search for “poop.” Let’s just say I don’t recommend following suit.

“wear sunscreen, no subtitles”

Ahh, my philosophy in life AND how I like my movies.

“monster mini golf”

If you haven’t been, you should go! So much fun.

“is luke skywalker married to princesa leia”


“can schizophrenia make you feel cloudy”

Sometimes, my friend. Sometimes.

7 Responses to “Disjointed, Half-Formed Thoughts, i.e. I’m Back, Baby!”

  1. 1 stefanie June 22, 2008 at 10:38 pm

    I have some blue curacao in my liquor cupboard that I have no idea why I bought and little clue what to do with. Sounds like you have a recipe for me! Please do share.

    Also, why does everyone keep recommending Dexter? And if I am entirely too easily terrified by anything creepy on TV, do I really want to watch it?

  2. 2 steve June 23, 2008 at 12:06 am

    I am in complete Dexter solidarity with you, sister. Can’t WAIT for the new season. Since we’re cheap, we’re gonna get rid of HBO and keep Showtime. SHO is eating HBO’s lunch. I think Stef could handle Dexter if she looked away during the gory bits.

  3. 3 kate June 23, 2008 at 10:12 am

    I can’t tell you how much I want my tombstone to say, “Ole, bitches.”

    Also, my boss last year had a baby and someone wrote on the card, “Roses are red, curacao is blue…” which, delicious treat or not, I still felt like it was south of appropriate.

  4. 4 courtney June 23, 2008 at 10:14 am

    Welcome back! I’m scared of gory things but may give Dexter a try.

  5. 5 Red June 23, 2008 at 6:27 pm

    Stef, you can make a margarita however you like it and then just add some blue curacao. And then it’s blue! And, I don’t know, blue is fun! If you want a recipe for the whole thing let me know. As for Dexter, I’m also not one for scary things, but it’s more like a psychological thriller (I also don’t believe people who tell me that in order to get me to watch scary movies, because they always end up just being SCARY). The first episode is kinda gory, but if you can get past that, the storyline is really cool. It did give me weird dreams, but I think that was only because we would watch five episodes back-to-back. 🙂

    Steve, I know! I can’t wait. September!

    Kate, I’ll be giggling into my hanky at your memorial service, but I suspect you’d wouldn’t have it any other way. Love the card, too. It wasn’t just south of appropriate…it was south of the BORDER, amiga. (Also: this weekend!)

    Courtney, see above! It’s worth it.

  6. 6 Lara June 23, 2008 at 10:09 pm

    I just made a weird snort noise when I read your response to “words that rhyme with tent”. Heh.

    Yay for summer drinks!

  7. 7 Red June 24, 2008 at 8:00 am

    Lara, hellyesyay!

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