I Have Whatever The Opposite Of Olympic Fever Is

I’m afraid it’s not just that I don’t really enjoy watching the games. It’s more like I don’t get what the big deal is. I know, I know, this is probably perceived as a crime against humanity, right up there with not blindly supporting Obama (it’s all about CHANGE, baby. And hope. Baaa.)

Wow, you are so hating me right now, aren’t you? Okay, one politically incorrect opinion at a time.

First of all, there isn’t any show that should be on 24 hours a day, save for maybe A Face To Die For, the 1996 Lifetime thriller starring Yasmine Bleeth and Robin Givens. Anything else? Small doses, please.

I guess I just don’t understand why you’d spend every waking hour of your life playing beach volleyball so that you can go to the Olympics and be declared the best ever at playing beach volleyball. Even if you win the coveted gold, I mean, what then? Do you go around the country promoting awareness of beach volleyball? I’ve only ever seen people play this sport in the 90210 opening credits.

Same with field hockey. And what about badminton? Is this the Olympics or gym class?

I don’t really want to go on, because any of these Olympians could kick my ass, and probably should. (Except for the badminton players.) I get the whole American pride thing, but if I met someone who won at the Olympics for target shooting, I’d be like, no way, that’s cool! What was it like in Beijing? And then maybe I’d feel like getting another drink, but I bet Zeus would still be rambling on about the intricacies of target shooting, of which there are bound to be many. And I’d have to smile politely and wait and by that point all the hard liquor might be gone. And then nobody wins.


9 Responses to “I Have Whatever The Opposite Of Olympic Fever Is”

  1. 1 s August 13, 2008 at 8:34 am

    looky here, becca… I know you think these things now… but once you decide to sign up for kickball with me this fall, you’ll be hooked on all these gym class type sports. when you’re not busy playing kickball, you’ll be training fo’ sure!

    and p.s., am I the only one that doesn’t think michael phelps and his weird monster jaw is NOT cute?!

  2. 2 Kate August 13, 2008 at 10:02 am

    Wow, we’re like point/counterpoint.

  3. 3 Noelle August 13, 2008 at 12:28 pm

    If loving the Olympics is wrong, then I don’t want to be right. I actually can’t really explain why I do love them so much. I just do. And every time I hit the pool, I dream about being good enough to compete at that level, and I guess that’s what it is, some people just want to be the best at something. And if that’s got to be synchronized diving, well I just think that’s awesome.

  4. 4 stefanie August 13, 2008 at 2:19 pm

    Usually I watch at least the gymnastics part, because I am predictable and girly like that. This year, though, I haven’t even caught any of that. Is that Kerri Strug kid still on the team? (No? She’s like 30 now? Oh.)

  5. 5 steve August 13, 2008 at 7:09 pm

    I’m with Noelle. I am not afraid to admit to anyone that will listen that I just love love love the Olympics. Can’t get enough of it. That said, I think part of my love for it is that it only appears on my TV every two years.

  6. 6 Allie August 13, 2008 at 9:54 pm

    I am totally with you. I can’t make myself watch even a minute of it. I’ve never been able to understand watching sports on TV. Thanks for speaking up. I’ve been feeling very alone.

  7. 7 Miss Fire August 14, 2008 at 3:07 pm

    I love it when you’re politcally incorrect! And I’m right there with you on both accounts.

    And Allie, you need to watch sports on a bigger TV, that’s all. 😉

  8. 8 Dutchess of Kickball August 18, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    On one hand it is super great to really be the best in the world at a sport, but I agree, beach volleyball is not a sport.

  9. 9 Lara August 27, 2008 at 1:58 pm

    Heh. My favorite “sports” are the trampoline and rhythmic gymnastics. Although I actually got pretty into the Olympics this year (which I almost just referred to as The Big Os this year, but, um, ew, I sound like a very bad Cosmo article), I am with you in not quite getting it. I happened to catch an interview of one girl – actually, I think she was a synchronized diver! – who was talking about all she had sacrificed to be there, and she said something about how she doesn’t live at home because she moved to be close to her trainer; she doesn’t go to school because she’s too busy training; and she doesn’t have any friends. I think it’s goddamn sad. Because then, what do you do with your medal when it’s all over? Wear it around town? Hang it on the wall and show to all your…oh wait, you don’t have any friends.

    Hmm. Perhaps I should write all this crap on my own blog.

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