Everything Under The Sun

I’m a little reluctant to let the summer go (shocking revelation from a teacher, I know) and overall just amazed that the end is near. It feels like July fourth was earlier today, and what kind of crazy are you peddling by suggesting that September is only a few days away?

It was a happy, lazy summer (and thanks to global warming, we get to enjoy retroactive summer weather for the next six weeks, yayyy eventual human race extinction due to elevated greenhouse gases!). There was much baseball to be had (and much more to come, right?). When all was said and done I think I went to something like 15 games. Not bad for the perpetually sold out Fenway. Speaking of baseball, this was also the summer that Jason Varitek became single. You’re all cordially invited to my HOLY SHIT JASON VARITEK IS SINGLE party, which began the moment I heard the news and will continue until forever. In all seriousness, it’s a sad thing, they’d been together since college, I think, and they have kids and all, yada yada, call me.

I went to New York and Chicago and Bethlehem, Connecticut, holla you crazy kids, thanks for showing me how to bring the funk Lieberman style.  Also, why doesn’t your state have any teams?  Anyway.  I stayed at a Sheraton a few towns away with friends during a particularly scorching weekend just to be able to use the pools (totally worth it). In the interest of full disclosure, I also went to, um, Coco Key Water Park, which is a random indoor water park at a random hotel in a random town about an hour away, and say what you will, I had so much fun it was embarrassing.

In keeping with the theme of being six years old, there was also a trip to Canobie Lake Park, which was as ghetto fabulous as ever, and Six Flags, which was also a blast. Oh, and TERRIFYING. I’m a roller coaster girl through and through, and there were still times when I believed beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was about to die. During one particularly terrifying ascent, I told my friend that if we did get hurt, at least they’d give us lots of money. She replied, “Well, our families, anyway.”

And how could I forget the Neil Diamond concert at Fenway? Honestly, the combination of soft rock and baseball was almost too joyous to bear. Also, Neil is a PIMP. He’s like the dark horse of pimpdom. Pour him some drinks and he’ll tell you some lies.

I spent most of the summer working a couple days a week with my regular students and the rest of the time I spent two days a week with my Godkids (who are actually my Godsiblings, but for the sake of brevity I sometimes call them the former in my blog. Kinda like how I call myself a teacher instead of a speech language pathologist because, uh, whatologist?). Those days involved mini golf, swimming, hedge mazes, scavenger hunts, and you cannot hit your sister with a ping pong paddle just because you lost, Rocky, you must chill.

Hey, remember awhile ago when we talked about the saddest possible grocery cart? Well, hands down, the bestest moment of the summer was finally seeing it. The gentleman behind me at Target was buying a single plate, a single cup, and a box of Gas-X. I KNOW.

Anyway, it turned colder, that’s where it ends. Luckily fall is an easy transition. New seasonal candles (iced pumpkin, blueberry scone and apple, thanks for asking), sweaters, sleeping with the windows open, season three of Dexter! Also, my 31st birthday, which I say without a trace of anxiety (well, maybe a trace). I’m in a much better place than I was last year when I turned 30, and I’m really happy about that. So bring it on. Just please don’t whack me too hard with the age stick just yet. I’m still glowing from a (clearly drunk) stranger at a wedding saying, “How old are you, like 20?”

Speaking of, I think my favorite quote of the summer (aside from “When life gives you lemons, just say fuck the lemons and bail”) came from that same wedding. I was talking to my Godmother’s husband’s crazy sister when it hit me who she looked like: Lilith from Frasier. Bebe Neuwirth, thanks Google. But I wasn’t sure if that was a compliment, so instead I just told her that she looked like someone famous. Her reply? “You look like someone who WILL be famous. You give off such a wonderful energy and aura.”

Our conversation ended soon after, but the quote will live on forever. Not unlike the Dracula musical. (Fortheloveofbeejus, see Forgetting Sarah Marshall if you haven’t already.)

So happy end of summer, all, and enjoy your long weekend like nobody’s business. I hope it will be as wonderful as you are. Because, really, you are. I mean, just look at you. And your AURA. My goodness.

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7 Responses to “Everything Under The Sun”


  1. 1 Stefanie August 27, 2008 at 9:59 pm

    Seriously. I feel like I must have slept through half the summer, because I DO NOT understand how it is damn-near September already. You have a better list to show for yourself than I do, though. I hate it when I squander my summers.

  2. 3 s August 28, 2008 at 8:55 am

    omg! I’ve been quoted!

    I googled “Mind Eraser” and this is what I found: “Riders should be advised to keep their head against the padded facerest because all of these rides tend to get rough and bumpy as the ride progresses.” Yeah, a warning sign would have been nice… thanks Six Flags for the 1/2 concussion.

    Neil… what can I say… definitely a top summer moment (not quite as exciting as my run in with the law back in July, but whatev). I swear he was just as giddy as you, me & ND sang “You Don’t Bring me Flowers” together. Honestly, I’m blushing again… (and P.S. SIT DOWN!)

    Dracula Musical!

    Goodbye, my friend, goodbye…

  3. 4 Shesabigstar August 28, 2008 at 9:01 am

    OMG – where have I been?? I didn’t know that Varitek was SINGLE!!! So I was at Fenway a couple of weekends ago and I literally thought of when I was taking pics of him…not all “OMG, I need take these pics for Red” or anything like that…but really, you popped into my head as I was standing there taking pics of his backside. Here…happy Thursday!

  4. 5 Jen August 28, 2008 at 11:14 am

    hell no you did not say, “it turned colder, that’s where it ends” love love love it. sounds like a fabulous summer. rock on w/ your bad self.

  5. 6 claire August 28, 2008 at 11:29 am

    “a single plate, a single cup, and a box of Gas-X”. Wow. I wonder what that guy was doing for the weekend. Must have been a hell-raiser.


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