iDon’t Even Know Anymore

My reluctance to board the technology train is well-documented. And see? Even the metaphor I just used is outdated. Ahem, my reluctance to board the technology HIGH SPEED RED EYE ACELA is well-documented.

You may have already heard about this on the news, but I got an iPhone. Ultimately I decided that it would enable me to communicate most productively and effectively and OMG THEY HAVE A SKEE-BALL APP! As far as phones go, it’s pretty, um, spectacular. It seemed like overnight it went from “whaaaat how do I use this?” to basically not reading books anymore. We’re in our honeymoon phase, I guess. I hope? Literacy is a big price to pay. But whatever, there’s probably an app for that too.

My cell phone history is spotty (oh snap) at best. The first time mine rang it was maybe 1999 and my friend Jason was calling it. I didn’t even know my number or how to answer it, and it was big enough that the scene in My Best Friend’s Wedding when Julia Roberts chats with Rupert Everett on what can only be described as a ginormous lockbox comes to mind.

Since then the various incarnations of my cell phone and I have had some adventures. When my godkids were younger I programmed Santa in to get them to go to sleep (nothing like “now calling Santa” to scare little kids straight around the holidays). I had a Radio Shack employee call his buddies over to openly mock my StarTac, way past its prime even in 2004.

We’re at a place now where your cell phone isn’t even your cell phone, it’s just your phone. Though I’m trying to wean myself off of it, I’m still one of those dinosaurs who still has a home phone. So yeah, I know, I’m a total pterodactyl. But I own it. Roar. Or, uh, whatever sound a pterodactyl makes. Maybe they just screech and spit venom at Newman.

DEAR GOD, a Jurassic Park reference. Forget it, I’m a senior citizen.

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3 Responses to “iDon’t Even Know Anymore”


  1. 1 Surfie February 11, 2010 at 7:45 pm

    Well you’re not the only one at least. I still have never sent a text message and have never used my cell phone to access the internet. I long for a phone that is “just a phone” and have secretly admired the Jitterbug phones. 🙂

  2. 2 Kristen February 16, 2010 at 8:52 pm

    Welcome back! I have a Droid (because hubby is a techie and former Verizon employee) and holy crap, that’s a lot of phone. First, that is one heavy mother flipper. Second, while all the bells and whistles are nice (Facebook! Twitter! Gmail! Tetris! Grocery List! Calorie Counter!), sometimes, I just want to make a call. But it takes like eleventy billion keystrokes to do that and one false ear move and you’ve ear Twittered. Surfie, I kinda want a Jitterbug, too. Maybe I’ll get one when I turn 40.

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